New Year, Same You
Written By: Emily Beck, LCSW
As we reach the end of 2025, you may start seeing content about new years resolutions, saying things like “New Year, New You!”. Seems harmless, right? Maybe not so much. This kind of content encourages you to “Be the best version of you!” But what’s wrong with who you are now?
There are a couple of reasons why this attitude can be dangerous:
This attitude is based on the idea that you aren’t good enough as you are. If you are not already the best version of you, obviously you need to change something about yourself. One of the worst offenders of this is the diet industry, telling us that the new year means it’s time to lose weight, get in shape, and start working on your “summer body”. Just because it’s January, does not mean you have to change your body.
Growth can be slow, and progress isn’t always linear. You may feel like you’re not making progress because you had a bad day, week, month, or year. The idea that you have to be a better person come January can make you feel like you haven’t been making progress already.
The best version of you can change day to day. If you only have 50% to give that day, and you give 50%, you gave it your all.
Everyone’s best self looks different. It’s impossible to compare yourself to other people. You made it through this year, and that is amazing.
Making sense of the passing of time can be hard, and sometimes we try to help ourselves understand this by setting goals. Therapist’s love goals! We set goals with our clients all the time. Goals themselves are not a problem, as long as you are kind to yourself and give yourself the grace to have harder days.
Here are some ways to think about the new year and set goals in a more positive way:
Try having a word of the year- This means a word that you want to see more of over the coming year. If you felt that 2025 was exhausting, your word might be “Rest”. If you want to spend more time with loved ones in 2026, your word might be “companionship”. Be creative with it!
Find goals that are manageable, achievable, and make you feel good.- Maybe your goal is to learn a new skill, or try a new restaurant. Maybe you want to schedule weekly phone calls with friends or family. The idea is to remove shame from your goal setting.
Give yourself space for more difficult days- If you don’t achieve a goal, you are not a failure. You may need to give yourself a different timeline. 2026 may not be the time to make major changes and that is ok.
Share your goals with other people- You and your friends, family, or partner can have goals that you want to accomplish together. Seeing each other on a regular basis, or starting a new hobby together. Having a buddy can make things feel so much more fun.
The important thing to remember is that, when the clock strikes midnight on January 1, 2026, you are still the same you that you were on December 31, 2025. You may change your attitude or thought process about some things, but you are not, nor do you have to be, an entirely different person at the stroke of midnight.
Resources:
https://www.thebrightballoon.com/blog/choosing-your-word-of-the-year/
https://www.commonthreads.org/blog/goal-setting/