This is for the Parents in the Room - When should ADHD be considered for my child?

Written By: Kära Tanaka

“How can I tell if what I experience with my child is them ‘just being a kid’ or it’s something else?” It’s a common question parents ask themselves, among the million other things that are on our minds at any given moment. If you have asked that because of some ADHD-like behaviors, there are ways to find answers to your question. When it comes to determining ADHD, there’s not one way this looks in children. Even though this may create confusion, it also allows parents and their child the freedom to deeply understand how ADHD looks for them. 

Even though ADHD can look different for each individual, there is a process for exploring a possible diagnosis. When we assess for ADHD, we are looking for what falls beyond the typical childhood behavior category and how their life is impacted by those behaviors and needs. If you’re noticing your child’s behaviors seem more intense, more frequent, or last longer than what is a developmentally appropriate behavior, that is a pattern to note. We also want to reflect on how their functioning is being impacted by their behavior. Let’s look at the 2 most common settings, home and school, and see what we notice:

At home:

Does your child struggle with managing their emotions?

Do they find transitions difficult?

Have you noticed they lose things or are not naturally organized?

What about taking care of themselves at an age-appropriate level - can they follow daily routines and engage in some self-care activities on their own?

How does your child respond to a change in plans?

Does there seem to be more physical impulses than other children their age?

What are some of their quirks?

How does your child typically feel when at home or with family?

At school:

What do adults in the academic setting say about your child’s attention and behavior? Does it match what you experience at home and in public? (See my addendum at the bottom for this one)

How does your child seem to respond to the routine of the school day and the structure of the school setting?

How does your child’s ability compare to their academic performance? (Are they capable of more than their grades show?)

Keeping their grade level in mind - is there a report of incomplete works and/or missing assignments?

Is there a certain aspect of school that seems more stressful or emotional for your child?

How does your child talk about school?

Social Interactions (home, school, other):

Does your child listen at a developmentally-appropriate level?

Can they engage in turn-taking with others?

What patterns are you noticing in their play and peer interactions?

Does your child seem more impulsive than other kids their age and stage?

How does your child notice and respond to social cues?
How does your child talk about, or seem to feel about, social interactions?

What we are looking for with these questions is patterns. With ADHD, patterns across multiple settings are usually present and it’s considered a key indicator. Identifying and interpreting those patterns is what professionals know how to do. Professionals can determine if your child has ADHD, what type they have, and recommend support they might need in various settings.

Here’s how assessing for ADHD can look in a formal setting, such as our practice:

Time is spent gathering information about your child to inform our assessments. We spend time getting to know your child, observing their behavior, and listening to their language. We are also looking for signs and patterns in our therapy space. We have a variety of ways we can assess for ADHD and we use your child’s age and developmental stage to make those decisions. We remain mindful of co-occurring possibilities and will gather more information from you about some of those areas. One of the end goals of an ADHD assessment is to gain greater insight into how your child functions and what their needs are so our last session is spent communicating our findings to your family. This might mean a diagnosis of ADHD but it will always include guidance towards support resources and ideas for treatment options. If a family is pursuing an ADHD diagnosis or trying to rule out ADHD, there is something going on that has brought them in. Those things can be supported as well.

My guess is that if you’ve read this far, you have some questions about ADHD and your child. Parents often adapt to their child's ADHD symptoms without seeking help, and I respect this commitment and want to validate your efforts.I also want you to know there are supports that can make a difference in what you’re experiencing. If you want to reach out, we consider it an honor to join your family team as you navigate a possible ADHD diagnosis.

Addendum: There has been a lot more talk about masking lately so I want to address this. Masking is a real thing that exists in all of us. It’s the small or large ways we adjust ourselves to fit in with people or environments. The way it relates to an ADHD assessment in a child is that masking can make teachers and families feel confused about behaviors and patterns. A common example: parents see certain behaviors at home and in some social interactions but all of their teachers report the child doesn’t exhibit any of these behaviors in class. This can be because the child is masking their needs and impulses in the school setting. This is why we look into masking during our assessments before determining a diagnosis. Symptoms of ADHD are not always disruptive, impulsive, or even external which has led to a lot of children going undiagnosed and therefore not getting their needs met.