Demand Avoidance
Written By: River O’Leary
What is Demand Avoidance?
Demand avoidance is a specific way that executive dysfunction can arise in neurodivergent people.
Demand avoidance refers to resistance to initiating/working on/completing tasks that have been assigned or are expected by others, or by the person themselves. These tasks might be typical daily tasks, take more mental effort than usual, require planning, be under-stimulating, present sensory challenges, or interrupt a preferred activity. Demand avoidance can happen with occupational, academic, household, or other tasks.
*Examples of tasks that can trigger demand avoidance could include paperwork, making phone calls, projects, homework, chores, or hygiene related tasks.
While some of these demands may seem routine, simple, or easily accomplished, the underlying challenge when it comes to demand avoidance is the stress caused by the demand. Stress that triggers demand avoidance happens when it feels like there is pressure, expectation, and lack of choice to start or accomplish a task. This pressure creates a strong urge to avoid the task despite how much a client might want to start the task or how important the task is.
*(Another perspective: When it feels like something “must” be done, is “supposed” to be done, or is “required,” this can feel like a violation of a neurodivergent person’s autonomy to make their own choices. Oftentimes the person is unaware of this underlying feature of demand avoidance, and is not well understood by the person experiencing demand avoidance or the people around them. Exploring this concept might be helpful to increase self-understanding and improve a person’s ability to feel autonomous and make choices on their own.)*
What is the Impact of Demand Avoidance?
Demand avoidance can look like refusal, stubbornness, laziness, procrastination, uninvolvement, or not caring. While this is an unfortunate interpretation of a very common part of executive dysfunction when it comes to neurodivergence, demand avoidance can have negative impacts on relationships, occupational functioning, and self-confidence due to not meeting expectations others or the person has for themselves.
To effectively work with demand avoidance, there must first be understanding what demand avoidance is and learning why it happens. Next steps include identifying triggers to one’s own demand avoidance, and increasing self-awareness that demand avoidance has been activated. Once a person can identify their own demand avoidance, they can take steps to manage their symptoms.
Coping Strategies
Address all-or-nothing thinking
Neurodivergent people may feel like a task must be done perfectly or not at all.
Work on accepting that it is okay to partially complete a task.
A little progress can go a long way and nothing has to be perfect!
Allow for flexibility
Many tasks do not have to be done in a particular order, particular place, or particular time.
Give permission to the person experiencing demand avoidance to change expectations to feel more manageable: pick a different task, change up the environment, or find a time that feels better to the client to complete a task.
Start with the lowest demand task
Selecting the task that feels the least stressful or demanding can get the person experiencing demand avoidance started.
Once the person has gotten something started, or has accomplished one task, it can increase confidence in their ability to start and complete tasks.
Set a 5 minute timer
Committing to a small amount of time to work on a task can feel like less pressure. Sometimes this is enough to get the ball rolling and the momentum can carry the person experiencing demand avoidance into doing more than they initially thought they could accomplish.
Take breaks
Taking breaks can help the person experiencing demand avoidance avoid burnout on tasks.
Set a timer for 20-30 minutes after starting the task, then set another timer to take a break for 5-10 minutes.
Make sure not to delay breaks! This can lead to burnout.
Reward System
Set a reward for when the task is completed. This can be anything.
Some examples are having a treat, a pleasant walk, watching an episode of something enjoyable, or spending time with friends or loved ones.
Add an enjoyable sensory component
While engaged in an undesirable task, adding a sensory component can address under-stimulation.
Auditory: Put on some music, a podcast, or a show in the background.
Taste: Grab a yummy snack or drink, especially something that can be savored during the task itself like a hard candy.
Touch: Wear comfortable clothing, grab a favorite blanket, or a fidget.
Smell: Light a candle, use a scented lotion, or use an essential oil diffuser in the room you are working in.
Sight: Does the person experiencing demand avoidance prefer bright or soft, warm lights while working? Consider whether it is distracting or a pleasant sensory addition to work in a public place such as a park or café, or to have a show on while working.
Breaking down a task into smaller steps
This can help a big task with several components feel more manageable.
Crossing off the small steps can lead to feeling accomplished and improve self-confidence in ability to work on a daunting task.
Make a list of tasks, and number them either by priority or from easiest to most challenging.
Making lists can help organize a brain that is overwhelmed by all of the tasks swirling around and causing mental chaos, stress, and confusion.
Numbering the items on the list can help us choose where to get started.
Make sure to cross off completed items for a self-confidence boost! Yay, you have accomplished something! :)
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