Doing Mind vs. Being Mind: Why Your Perspective Matters
By: Ben Bernstein
“Doers get more done.”
Does that slogan sound familiar? We hear all the time that we should do more — finish tasks, win awards, reach big goals. On TV or on social media, people talk about everything they’ve done lately. And yes, humans can do amazing things! But sometimes, always being in “Doing Mind” can cause problems.
So, what is “Doing Mind”?
It’s the part of your brain that helps you finish chores, work hard in school, and try to reach goals. It’s also the part that judges — it judges others, the world, and even yourself.
Our brains are really smart. For example, you might not even think about how to get home — you just do it. That’s “Doing Mind” helping you. But when you're sad or want to feel better, “Doing Mind” doesn’t help much. In fact, it might make you feel worse. You might start thinking about how bad you feel, or how you’re not where you want to be. This can make you feel stuck.
“Doing Mind” also makes you:
Compare yourself to others in a bad way
Worry about the past or future instead of enjoying right now
Try to hide or ignore bad feelings
Feel like things have to change to be okay
Believe every thought in your head, even if it’s not true
Have you ever looked at pictures on Instagram or Facebook and felt like you weren’t doing enough? Maybe you feel behind, or not as good as others who have nicer stuff?
Or maybe you want to lose weight. Let’s say you lose some weight, but not as much as you hoped. “Doing Mind” might tell you, “That’s not good enough,” and you might feel like quitting, even though you made progress.
Sound familiar? That’s how “Doing Mind” works.
Another Way to Think: “Being Mind”
“Being Mind” is different. It helps you look at things in a new way. When you use “Being Mind,” you:
Notice what’s happening right now
“Make space” for your feelings instead of trying to push them away
Stop comparing yourself to others in a harsh way
See your thoughts as just thoughts — not always true
Be kind to yourself
Let’s look at those same examples again — this time with “Being Mind”:
You’re on social media. Instead of feeling bad, you feel happy for others. You may wonder what they had to do to get where they are. If you feel sad, you notice that feeling and let it be there. You don’t fight it. All feelings come and go — even the hard ones.
If you’re trying to lose weight, you focus on how your body feels, not just the number on the scale. You feel proud of every small step you take. You feel thankful that you can take care of your body. You don’t compare yourself to others — you’re okay with where you are right now.
How Does This Feel to You?
Changing how you think takes time. Most of us were taught to “do more” our whole lives. That’s okay! You can learn to be in “Being Mind” little by little.
Here are some ideas to try:
Use your senses. When eating an orange, really taste it. Feel the texture. Smell it.
Do one thing at a time. If you eat and watch TV at the same time, you might not enjoy either as much. Try to do just one thing.
Ask questions. Are you thinking in “all-or-nothing” ways? Are you letting your feelings tell you what’s true? Remember: thoughts are not facts. You can question them.
Do you feel like you’re always comparing yourself to others? Do you often feel sad or not good enough? We’re here to help. Contact us today at (217) 203-2008 or via email.
Resources:
The Mindful Way Workbook.
Authors: John Teasdale, Mark Williams and Zindel Segal